Helos

2010-07-10T20:23:00.003-05:00

Hmmm... I'm not very good on updating this random blog, am I?

It's okay to agree :^)

Back to the Drawing Board:

As you can see from the new background it is time for change. But not too much change or I may have a breakdown. Here's the big news, friends. I'm to become a freshman this fall. Yes, I am going straight from pre-school to college. Why waste time, right? Just some basic fundemental classes to start off at the local community collage.

Big stuff, right? I'm torn between thinking myself crazy for doing it and thinking myself crazy for not doing it sooner.

Well, pray for me and my crazy life as it all begins to change... but not too much :^)

2010-05-01T08:42:00.002-05:00

Wow! It has been a long time.

There's been Christmas, a New Year, Seder Meal, Resurrection Sunday, Birthday's galore... all those things that happen in the Spring and winter. Things are going well for me. God has been gracious in, Oh! So!, many things.

The job I reported about is going very well. We all five seem to get along quite well.

I am sharing an apartment with a young lady whom I am sure will be a great friend.

Things at the church are going along with only a few bumps along the way.

In short... God is good.

Very Exciting News!!! Some close friends have adopted four children who they have loved for over a year now.

Look at me... I'm giving you all little Facebook updates. I hope to write a bit more extensively in the near future but I'm a bit out of the habit. Forgive me while I find something to expound on.

- NL White

I HAVE A JOB!!!

2009-12-12T22:42:00.002-06:00

Hey you who care :^)

I HAVE A JOB!!!

And it's a real nanny job...

YEAH!!

The Lord has perfect timing and just when I began to feel stress over funds, or lack thereof, He provided and excellent position as a nanny of two lovely boys.

I am truly blessed :^)

Love Him,
N L White

Where In the World Is NL White??

2009-11-16T12:50:00.003-06:00

Alright, I know that I have been lacking in posts for quite a while and most won't see this for a while... if ever, but here it is :^)

Well, honestly Facebook has proven to be so easy that I end up spending more time there than in the blogosphere. I know it's just and excuse, but a decent one.

So what is up??
I am currently jobless and apart from the blessed grace and gifts of the Body of Christ, would be homeless. I know that there will always be a place for me among family and friends and am so very thankful to God for their many offerings to His glory on my behalf (insert little tear).

I am looking for a job as a NANNY but the well seems to be a bit dry right now. The ecomomy is really stretching families and their finances and most don't consider the whole cost of "Daycare" for their children.

I know that the Lord will provide exactly what is right at exactly the right time and He has been gracious to provide through substituting at a preschool and ocassional kid-sitting for families and music lessons. My car, fuel and phone are being covered by His grace and living expenses are small by His extended grace through His people :^)

In short I am continually blessed by the provision of my God.

See you all,
NL White

2009-08-21T06:48:00.003-05:00

Psalm 51

15O Lord, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise.

16For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;

You are not pleased with burnt offering.

17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

Too often my lips are used for that which is not fit to be spoken, or that which is useless to the hearer as well as myself.

Psalm 19

14Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be acceptable in Your sight,

O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.

Married to the Lord

2009-08-15T09:43:00.003-05:00

I have been blessed so much over the last 13 years by the Bride of Christ.

Last week was my 29th birthday. A good one. There was no big party or huge gifts to report but the week was tremendously blessed. My employing family took me out to a wonderful lunch of Pizza (LOVE IT), many friends on Facebook sent happy wishes, the youth group girls wrote their names all over my car with a message of love, and a couple of close friends gave me tokens of affection. One of these was a ring.

Now anyone, who knows me, knows that I generally don't wear jewelry on my arms and hands. I simply get distracted by rings and braceletts. But I put on this simple, yet beautiful, ring on Sunday night and have only removed it for bathing purposes this entire week.

I was blessed yesterday evening with some time serving Christ with my mother. I pointed out the new ring to her and she said "Married to the Lord, huh?" to which I replied "For now :^)"

I was dwelling a bit on that this morning after reading Psalm 46 which is written as a celebration song for one of king David's weddings, and thought about the fact that I am indeed married to the Son of the Living God, along with countless other Saints. A blessing which encouraged me to serve the Bride of Christ even further.

"Listen, O daughter, give your attention and incline your ear: Forget your people and your father's house; Then the King will desire your beauty. Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him." Psalm 46:10-11

Only one year at a time, please.

2009-08-04T18:45:00.003-05:00

I noticed a few more grey/white hairs today.

Worshiping our Wrathful God

2009-07-04T19:36:00.009-05:00

"Perhaps we have lost the fear of God because we take His grace for granted. At the very begining God said to Adam and Eve, 'The day you eat from [the forbidden tree], you shall surely die.' (Genesis 2:17) They ate from it but they did not die that day. God showed them grace."

"He continues to be gracious. We are alive only because God is merciful. But instead of our accepting the mercy of God with thankfulness and keeping the perspective of fearing God, we begin to get used to it.Consequently, when God does punish sin,we think He's unjust."

- John MacArthur, Jr.

From "The Ultimate Priority"

There are many reasons why our worship is not full, is not focused, is not holy unto God. The most common one, however is a lack of knowledge concerning God and His character. We often think that his mercy out-weighs his justice and that his grace is in greater measure than His wrath. Simply not true. He is the very definition of each of these things, meaning that He is fully and completely defines both mercy and justice, both grace and wrath.

As Christians we are continually given mercy and grace because God sees us through the blood of His Son, Jesus, just as He saw our sin placed on Him. But we cannot allow this wonderful out-pouring of favor keep us from seeing just what we have been saved from: our just dessert of God's wrath and our deserved punishment of His eternal wrath. How blind we are when we fail to see our sin for what it is and what it cost our Saviour on the cross to secure our complete and total forgiveness.

Father, forgive us for thinking You less than You are, thinking Your justice or wrath as any less than completely holy and unstained by worldly definition. Forgive us where we have fallen short in giving You what You deserve and give us hearts undivided by wants and cares that distract from Worship in the fullest measure. Thank You for sending your Son that we my come before the throne with reverance.

Jesus, what a friend for sinners You are. It is Your obedience that has paid the price for our wandering thoughts, Your blood-sacrifice which covers our meager offerings of empty promises. You have met every requirement where we have failed. Bless You, Jesus, our dear, perfect and sinless Substitute. You, our Beloved Brother, our Saviour, our Lord.

Spirit of God, prick our hearts with rememberance of the just and dreadful reward we have been saved from through the blessed gift of the eternal Lamb who took our sin upon Himself, who suffered the punishment which was rightfully ours as if it were His very own.

"Praise to the Lamb that was slain!

Praise to the Father who gave His Son away!

The proof of love the price of grace.

You traded all to take my place.

You died for me so I could be a child of God."

- Todd Proctor

Does your life need a change?

2009-05-10T18:33:00.008-05:00

"Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing and things like these, which I forwarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

- Galatians 5:19-21

The gate to enter Heaven is narrow, but so is the path to get there.

The narrow gate is Jesus who said "I am the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father but through Me." And the path He calls those who would enter is narrow as well. It is the path that He Himself laid by teaching and example. "Take up your cross and follow Me."

Are you on the path to begin with?

If you're on the path, are you more like Jesus today than you were yesterday?

Am I more like Jesus today than I was yesterday?

...

...

... I'm not sure...

...

...

... But I want to be!!

One thing I have asked of the the Lord, that I shall seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the LORD

And to meditate in His temple.

Psalm 27:4

O LORD, who may abide in Your tent?

Who may dwell on Your holy hill?

He who walks with integrity,

And works righteousness,

And speaks truth in his heart.

Psalm 15:1-2

Just A Few Words

2009-05-02T20:22:00.010-05:00

My eyes are dry and my pillow soaked

With tears of mourning over sin.

Yet, I smile on. In hopes that my heart

Will give way to the seen expression.

Come sweet sleep and offer your rest.

Sooth these weary eyes with your renewing slumber.

Do You Remember??

2009-04-11T20:31:00.003-05:00

I had a pressing question for myself today and simply could not answer it myself. I know it sounds really bad but I could not remember when I graduated. Yeah I know it's lame and makes me sound quite a bit older than I actually am, senile really. But for the last week or so I have genuinely confused. I had quite a few friends who graduated the year before me and was mixing them with the ones I graduated with. It was all a very confusing for a little while. Until a good friend was gracious enough to tell me that I graduated with her and just what year that was.

Whew!!

Have a Blessed Holy-Day!!
Happy Resurrection Sunday!!

Where Have I Been??

2009-03-21T23:17:00.009-05:00

It's crazy, just plain crazy!!!

Crazy because some days I haven't really been sure where I've been, in a cyber sense that is. I've recently began working for a new family with four, count them "1...2...3...4", children AND I've moved across town... CRAZY!!!

But all of this really is not very connected to lack of web-time. It really is more connected to a lack of connection. I know what you're thinking:

"'connected to a lack of connection.' What are you thinking random blogger whom I've never read before and most likely will never come across again. That doesn't even make sense. You're a rambling idiot who has no idea how to make a simple statement like 'I haven't felt like expressing myself to the equally random public.'"

Well, if you were thinking that then you are a genius or a mind reader because there is no way that I could have worded that so eloquently. Thank you for stating it so well!!!

Yeah, so the point is that I am a bit of an introvert. Okay, maybe a little more than "a bit." SO... I haven't felt like writing out that the things that have been rolling about in my head, for the world to see. The sad thing is that when the marbles are rolling around the property up there they really do make a little more sense than you might imagine from this post. But, ALAS, they don't seem to be rolling very far this evening AND the fact that I am experiencing "typing dyslexia" doesn't help them produce thoughts of extreme wisdom and influence on the masses of people dropping in on this blog, resulting in world wide societal change.

So... I'll have to call it a night on this one and stop in, hopefully, in the near future to impart deeper words of change and impact.

Until next time...

NL White

Music for Ladies' Retreat

2008-11-04T11:37:00.012-06:00

Hello Tammi, and all you other ladies who I've directed here for what we'll be singing at our little "Day Retreat."

#2 Breathe On Me, Breath of God - Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah - Marvelous Light

The funny thing is that we didn't even make it to this set :^)

Ancestor or Just Plain Silliness?

2008-10-28T12:46:00.003-05:00

I was able to watch Ben Stien's "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed" the other day and would like to encourage any and all who come across this blog to watch it as well. I dosen't really matter what your view on science, biology, or evolution is. This movie is intended to challenge, to pose questions, and encourage others to do the same. Intelligent debate about "Intelligent design" is being thwarted in a field of study that is meant to be challenged, science. In this country we can challenge such things and yet we do not. It was pointed out in the movie that Poland has more freedom in education reguarding how we came to be than we do and scientists who study such hyopthesies in France are treated with a measure of respect while those the "Land of the Free" are losing positions and tenure for slightly mentioning they might take it seriously in seeking answers. Answers to questions that Darwinism does not have viable answers to. Saying they cannot know how life began on earth because they were not there.

I believe in the God that was there and I believe it happened just as He says in the amount of time He tells us. I believe Him in Genesis because He is the "God, who cannot lie" of Christianity (Titus 1:2)

2008-10-17T15:21:00.001-05:00

Click the photo for a little bit of an update.

A Busy Week

2008-09-23T08:42:00.003-05:00

This week my usual flexibility has been spoken for by an occasional employer who has been very gracious. God has used them often in these last seven years to provide hours when nanny times have been sparse and when I've needed an extra bit of cash for this and that. The parents left for France on Friday and asked me to be a single parent in their absence. "Mom" who is extremely organized has arranged for family friends and neighbors to help out with pick-up from school and various weekly activities, which is a great help, but from 6:30pm to 7:30am They're all mine. This weekend we held a spy convention at the house creating legends and IDs for the neighborhood boys as well as nearly missing a baseball game one of them was to play in.

The time is, however, bitter-sweet. I recieved a call yesterday from dear, dear friends, a brother and sister in Christ, with a request for help that I really wanted to provide for them. God has blessed me so often with the ability and availability to say yes to so many things and I wanted to do so yet again but that door of ministry in time of need was closed. God is faithful to those needs that we don't even know are coming and has provided for the family who needed a helping hand and also for my sanity. Having two boys with heavy after-school schedules made the decision to say no heart-breaking and yet simple. Should the situation have been different I would not have hesitated to say yes, but the answer was no before I even knew what the question was.

Many prayers will be offered for the brother and sister and daily help will be offered by the Body of Christ. The members acting together for the preservation and benefit of one another. All of this will be done because of Christ's love dwelling in us for His glory. He is faithful to meet every need that may arise and meet it to the very end.

2008-09-19T12:33:00.002-05:00

I thought I may drop into CA (hopefully more like a controlled landing) in October but my time is better spent here for now.

September 16th

2008-09-09T11:02:00.004-05:00

2008-08-29T13:22:00.004-05:00

View Larger

2008-08-27T10:50:00.005-05:00

view the picture larger by clicking here

Psalm 104:5-9

5 (The LORD) set the earth on its foundations, so that it should never be moved.

6 You covered it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains.

7 At your rebuke (the waters) fled; at the sound of your thunder they took to flight.

8 The mountains rose, the valleys sank down to the place that you appointed for them.

9 You set a boundary that they may not pass, so that they might not again cover the earth.

The hills of "the Ozarks" are witness to the power of God. Fossils found here are more common in areas near the sea or grand lakes not the land-locked central US (vs6&8). Caves in this area act as drains for much of northern Arkansas and southern Missouri (vs7). Nature compensating for what would be a massive flood-plain, I think not. God has made provision for His creation (vs9).

What You Been Up To?

2008-08-20T10:03:00.004-05:00

Well... let's see...

You know it's really hard to keep up with more than a couple of things. I've found that in order to do even half of what I want to do with my flickr photos and visit friendly blogs on a semi regular basis something has to go by the way-side. And it turns out that this is that thing.

Fortunately it's more like the gutter of a bowling lane rather than that of a rubbish filled ghetto street. Still useful and sometimes visited :>)

So... I'll try to post once or twice a month and keep sane in the process.

Here's hoping many of you have a great school year and others a great nine months.

Some pregnant, most not :>)

Here's something cute to look at while you eagerly wait for my next post:

Watermelon Wishes

2008-08-05T07:50:00.007-05:00

I have written before of smells that I love. Some are associated with people and others with places or things and I can't help but take a moment to reflect on that noun that they remind me of. Back in April I wrote of a smell that I associate with the warm days of spring and summer. The smell is that of a freshly cut lawn. I again caught a reflective sniff of such a day or so ago and remarked in my thoughts how closely it resembled that of a watermelon that has just been cut into. An instant smile arose from the thought and I've been longing for watermelon ever since.

Today's my 28th birthday. Happy Birthday to me!

Have a great "my birthday"!

Click the Pic to see what I've written about this special day.

The Funniest Thing I've Seen Today

2008-07-22T15:33:00.006-05:00

A little view of my world today

This morning my boys and I made our way to the $1 summer feature at our local theater and was disappointed when the projector died and had to find entertainment else-where. So... we made our way to the market to pick up a few items needed for the house; milk, Cheerios, ham, juice, etc., etc. Then we took our "break today" at McDonalds Playplace. Therefore 2yr old little "O" was sufficiently worn out for his sleep.

As usual he made a little fuss as I carried him up stairs and put him in his cot, so I told him "night, night", closed the door and made my way down the stairs to play Chutes & Ladders with 4yr old "Z." We were both somewhere around #50 when the irritated cry from upstairs quieted and then made a comeback as more of a "I'm hurt, so come save me" cry. I made my appoligies to "Z" and hobbled upstairs to find "O" pinned between the side of the cot and the wall. However, I was without a camera and therefore must leave the scene up to your imagination.

There were many things that began to run through my mind but the first thing to escape my lips was "I told you it wasn't safe to climb out of your cot." Feeling vendicated, I then began to smile over the hilarious picture that presented itself and make my way over to the distressed toddler. I was greeted with a very appreciative hug (or maybe he was just hanging on for dear life). So after a moment of absorbing this display of affection, I placed the boy back in his cot and retrieved the comfort blankies he had obviously tried to get for himself and all was well. Sleep soon came and the scene was brought to a close. But I must honestly say that it was indeed the funniest thing I've seen today and perhaps even in a great while because is it continues to bring quite a grin to my face and a light to my eyes.

Enjoy your days!!

Lil' Buddy

2008-07-03T13:54:00.004-05:00

Hey some of you know Jordan. She' taking the move a bit hard and needs a shout-out so drop by and encourage a sista'

YahooS

2008-06-27T17:22:00.004-05:00

Click the Pic to see these YahooS Better

Back from camp and trying to get back in the swing of things.

Happy B-Day Lo-Lo

2008-06-12T11:27:00.003-05:00

Keep The Light On

2008-06-05T08:18:00.014-05:00

This is a picture of a lighthouse originally constructed near Cape Cod (East Coast) in 1881. It was thought until last year that it was taken apart and discarded in 1925 but recently an historian based in it's original location discovered that the lighthouse was just relocated and is still in service today about 25 miles south of San Fransisco.

Last year we had a pastoral intern join our youth staff. He was accustomed to a large church atmosphere and spending the last year of his internship in a small church was to serve as a different experiance to help offer a more well rounded youth pastor to some unknown church. Recently he and his wife canidated in Colorado and he recieved a call of invitation this Sunday. It's and exciting time for them and our little youth group. Even though we are sad to see them move on we know that the light they have to offer is needed elsewhere.

We've learned a few things and have tried to offer a bit of knowledge of our own over the last year and pray that the transition to ministry in Colorado will be smooth for them and those they will be ministering to as well as with.

Jake and Candace,
We've been blessed and hope that you have been as well through this year of ministry at Hope. We know that God will be honored in this new endevor and pray that you will see His hand working in your ministry.

Matthew 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

2008-06-03T13:58:00.001-05:00

Park Pics

2008-05-17T14:28:00.005-05:00

I took the boys to the park the other day. Here's a pic or two.

The Older eventually hoisted the younger over.

Climbed the tree for this one.

Firsts

2008-05-16T15:27:00.006-05:00

Okay so this is my very first posted video along with my very first posted song. I've wanted to post a song for a while now but couldn't figure out how. Then it hit me make a video with one. So I did. I thought this picture would look much better than me playing my guitar in a messy little apartment.

There is so much more I wanted to do with the video but maybe I can get to that later.

Enjoy!

________________________________________________________

Don't Waste Your Life!

2008-05-07T15:37:00.011-05:00

"The greatest cause in the world

is joyfully rescuing people from hell,

meeting their earthly needs,

making them glad in God,

and doing it with a kind, serious pleasure

that makes Christ look like the Treasure He is."

Challenge: What are you doing to let your life be of profit. By "of profit" I mean profitable to God. Not to your bank account, or your reputation, or even your friends and family. How are you being of profit to God. He redeemed you if you are a believer. He paid a price for you to be freed from slavery to sin so that you could be in service to Him. So... how have you profited you Master today. Did you read His love letter to you? Did you converse with Him? Did you tell another of his splendor and majesty?

Eat your wheaties people.

It's time to get busy.

What Do You Value?

2008-05-05T10:39:00.007-05:00

Remember that lovely angelic friend that I mentioned in a post last month? Well, she was teaching our LiFE Kids class again last night and as usual I learned something even if the kids didn't. We've been going through the character of God with these kids for the past eight months or so and will soon be wrapping up for the summer break that our teachers enjoy and this year our kids will too. So far the teaching has been pretty easy to follow but last night the lesson was on God's being righteous while a large part of it focused on God's glory being valuable above all else. A day later, I'm not sure what the connection was but I'm sure it was evident last night.

Okay, so let's get down to the nitty gritty.

The thing that left an impression on me was something that Ms. C said as almost an Anacrusis or pick-up note to a main point. In speaking of a miracle of God she said something about not putting value on the miracle in place of God Himself. It struck me then that we (I) can find ourselves trusting in or placing an undo amount of value on that which God has done by not recocnizing the value of He who accomplished it.

The miracle that came to mind for me is the most amazing miracle that I've witnessed, my salvation. The changing of one's heart is truly a great act and can only be truly accomplished by God. The Creator of this vessel has every right and power necessary to do so while a loved one, parent, or spouse has neither. God is the Author and Accomplisher of Salvation. But am I trusting in what happened one night over a decade ago or the God who accomplished it? Do I place more value on what He has accomplished or He who had the power to do so?

My prayer is to know and trust the God of my salvation more and more so that I may value Him more...

and more

and more and more

and more and more and more

and more and more and more and more

and more and more and more and more and more

and more and more and more and more and more and more

and more and more and more and more and more and more and more

...

My Buddy

2008-05-02T15:00:00.006-05:00

Two posts in one week! What was I thinking?

As a kid I had one of those "kid sister" dolls.

I have since grown up a little and have a new friend.

This is now "My Buddy."

Yeah! That Might Work!

2008-05-01T09:51:00.002-05:00

I've decided to start something that might never happen again but now I have a tag for it just in case it does. This is a "Hey, That Just Might Work" post and it just might be the last but here it goes.

Today I was listening to NPR (how very libral of me). I do so occasionally to catch up on what the general American is thinking about stuff going on within and without our boarders and sometimes about our boarders (but that's another post). So today, on the way to work I heard a report on some stuff going on in Iraq (not unusual these days). This report was on a business man from the US meeting with Iraqi officals about setting up a theme park in Bagdad. Sounds crazy right?

Park Goer #1: "Hey, let's go ride the roller coaster one more
time before the city's power shuts down for the day."

Park Goer #2: "I think a bomb exploded on that side of the
park and it will take a while to adjust the railings. So let's get some dippin'
dots and head home. We'll miss curphew if we wait for the roller
coaster."

That's the funny side of the situation but there are seriously things that are practical about this. Think about it. When you go to your nearest theme park, who is it that's running the rides and all the consessions? Our nearest theme park employs the young for most of these. In Iraq it would mostly employ young men. They don't need much training to run the tea cups and without these jobs they might very well be building roadside bombs or shooting at Iraqi police and American Troops.

There are about five or six companies that are looking at Iraq as a fruitful business opportunity and their goal is, of coarse, to make money but a side effect that we can all agree is good is that Iraqi people will have jobs. Right now most people don't have anything to loose by joining those groups against democracy because they simply don't have anything. There's a huge amount of money that our government has used to "rebuild" Iraq but there hasn't been anything seen as a result of it. Maybe the ones responsible for spending it were not associated enough with its source and haven't been looking to make changes that are visible in the short term. But those with a business mindset may thrive where government has seemed to fail because they are very connected to these funds are going to make sure there are profits. They have a vested intrest that their pockets will be lined and as a result of that jobs will be provided.

Some may see this as just another thing that the US is trying to push on the Iraqi people. "Get them to embrace our version of captalism so that they can be dependant on our companies in place of our Forces." Think about it. Let's look at the theme park for instance. How many theme parks housed within a city have you been to where there aren't a dozen resturants within walking or driving distance? Consider the shop down the street from Sea World that has some very similar souviners at a fraction of the price. Potential local business owners will be drawn by location. "Hey, if we could set up our cafe near the theme park we could sell ginger tea to those idots who spent all day on the tilt-a-whirl."

Think of the possibilities.

Good Intentions

2008-04-18T14:39:00.003-05:00

Here's a small bit of how lunch went

for me and my toddler shadow the other day.

We were out and about, running an errand or two for "Mummy" when hunger rumbles began from the backseat in the form of whimpers and crabby growls. I had been trying to ignore similar groanings from my own tummy and found relief in the company of a little boy having the need for edible substance. While our stomach's made their request known to all within a reasonable distance from the open car windows my taste buds were searching their vast memories for a remedy. I could tell from the way the discussion was going that fresh veggies, cold-cuts and cheese were going to win the vote so I made hast for the nearest sub shop.

I thank God that this toddler really has no qualms when it comes to choosing food. He has eaten nearly anything that I've placed before him from the beginning of our relationship and I like it that way. So my choice was for a Roast Beef sub with cheddar and a wide selection of veggies. As I waited for the careful wrapping of our lunch and the choco-chip cookie that was so eloquently suggested by my small companion he found a table just right for two with a view out the window and an equally pleasing view of the other diners who were enjoying the establishment (we're both people watchers).

All went smoothly for the first few minutes. I unwrapped our provisonary sub and began to tear pieces just his size and place them on a bit of the wrapping while he sampled the soda a couple of times. Soon the eating began. We were both quite satisfied with what was provided for just a few dollars and could not have asked for anything more. Then it happened, that thing which always happens while dining with an almost two-year-old. The food is no longer seen as necessary for life but rather a distraction from other more important endeavors like smiling at the random construction worker and wandering to the lap of the most familiar adult.

Even though this was not what I had in mind for our little outing, I was not disturbed or frustrated with his distractions but rather sought to deal with it in the most suitable manner. I willing held the young boy and according to my experience had a firm grip on his waist ensuring that he could not depart from his new found seat. Then I skillfully moved his meal to the same side of the table and commenced to suggest each bite in the most alluring manner. My meal was finished and this alone remained on our to do list for this stop and I was confident that it could be accomplished. But that was before, before the manager tried to help.

It must be a lovely thing to be the manager of a restaurant which offers toys to small children with their meals because should the need arise you can opt to offer said toy to a less advantaged child who is distracting his/her parents from the task they actually arrived for, eating. However this was not the case for myself and my young companion. Therefore the presentation, although met with a smile from both the child and myself was not helpful to the task at hand but rather a further distraction.

Soon after the suggestion of a high chair was made and the manager mad her way back to managing, my toddler and I made ready to leave. I recognized that the furtherance of this endeavor would indeed be pointless as the toy, which I couldn't take away at this point, was infinitely more important that dietary needs.

Sneezy Pleazy

2008-04-10T13:41:00.008-05:00

Another smell that I love visited on Monday. Just before the rains came in bucket fulls everyone went out and gave their lawns their first cut of the season. That fresh-cut smell leaves me sneezing but I can't help loving it.

P.S.

Did you know there are people out there? My profile broke 600 views yesterday. Not sure how to react. So I'll just say:

"Hey, What's up?"

"Why didn't you leave a comment?"

Spring Rain

2008-03-31T14:28:00.003-05:00

Today I was overtaken by an urge to walk in the backyard. I wanted to feel the ground under my bare feet and I did. It was marvelous. I walked slowly with no intention but to feel the dampened cool earth and the soft spring grass on my winter-kept toes. It was accomplished. Then I came back into the house and the hardwood floor was disappointing. Even the freshly vaccumed carpet left something to be desired.

There are storms here now and I am tempted to step out and let my God drip rain from His heavens upon my face.

Reformed Women of History 03

2008-03-25T09:54:00.009-05:00

Back to Basics

I have now decided that to give you all that I have learned about the lovely Elizabeth Prentiss would keep young mothers away from their children and the rest of you from the important things that God has prepared for you to accomplish. Therefore this is a "short" bio given in three parts to satisfy the knowledge-hungry beast inside you. I will try to incorporate more about this truly excellent woman of faith in later posts, but for now; Enjoy!

Elizabeth Prentiss (Childhood)

On the 26th day of October in the 1818th year of our Lord the family of Edward and Anne Payson was blessed with the birth of their fifth child (there would be eight born, of which two died in infancy). Dr. Payson would prove to be a great proclaimist of the gospel in his time and even now his sermons are highly esteemed among Reformed Pastors and Theologians even today. The future husband of his newborn daughter would pen these words about him shortly after her death.

"Edward Payson was in all respects a highly-gifted man. His genius was as marked
as his piety. There is a charm about his name and the story of his life, that is
not likely soon to pass away"

Payson's great devotion, passion for winning souls to Christ and desire to become like his Saviour in holiness was a challenge to all that knew him. He did however struggle with a melancholy temperament was often subject to "sudden and sharp alterations of feeling." Almost to his last days he experienced seasons of spiritual gloom and depression. His familial biographer goes on to say that "it did not impair the strength and beauty of his Christian manhood." but rather placed a spotlight on his sportive humor, ready wit, and wonderful story-telling gift which made him delightful to the young and old, learned and unlearned alike.

"Dr. Payson possessed rare conversational powers and loved to wield them in the
service of his Master."

Much of his temperament was exhibited by his daughter Elizabeth as a young adult and was heightened at times by her not knowing "what it was to feel well." She was plagued by severe pains, sick headaches, and fainting spells from young childhood. She was described as "a dark-eyed, delicate little creature, of sylph-like form." Elizabeth was only nine when the father she adored departed to be with the Lord.

Elizabeth's eldest sister Louisa had recently opened a school and Mrs. Payson found it both a place of refuge and usefulness. She became a teacher in the school and after some years of further education Elizabeth would join the ranks herself. Louisa was known for her scholarship and excellent literary skills, something that would also be instilled in her younger sister. She would later marry a university professor and put her skills to the help of his position.

__________________________________________________________

These are somethings that I have learned about young Elizabeth Prentiss. She was greatly influenced by her loving and godly family to pursue excellence in her endeavors and did so in every aspect of life. The next E.P. post will focus on her young adulthood, including her own reformation by the work of Christ and her marriage to Pastor George Prentiss, brother of her good friend Ms. Anne Prentiss.

Happy Day!!

Spring Is Here!

2008-03-14T11:23:00.011-05:00

It's not the 21st of March

And officially no one has said it yet but 'tis true.

I smelled spring in the warm, wet rain yesterday.

A smell which I've missed this winter.

A Side Note

2008-03-11T16:44:00.008-05:00

I haven't walked away from our Reformed Women.

Okay, I am working on a short bio for Mrs. Elizabeth Prentiss. However "short" is the problem. I thought I wouldn't find very much on this lovely lady but was proven wrong and am now reading the collection of her "Life and Letters." So fun with letters for NL White.

The Side Note It's Self:

I am a co-teacher with a lovely and angelic friend on Sunday nights when we teach 5-7 year-olds. This week she was trying to convey God's omniscience to the kids when she shared the story of Ananias and his wife Sapphira, and their heart toward God revealed through their deceit. In considering the story with the children I was struck by how easy could be for us to pretend that we have hearts of gold when they're just painted rocks beating in our chests.

So the challenge I walked away with is to be real. I know that God has made changes to my heart now I must live like it. Some of you are like "you already do" well imagine if I did it on purpose. I would be a walking ball of mercy stitched together with thread of grace. My lack of tolerance for "faking it" would keep it from being an act and I would really be just that. Cool! Right?

Are you a walking ball of mercy stitched together with thread of grace?

Happy Day!!

NL White

P.S. I think that's what I want on my tombstone.

Reformed Women of History 02

2008-03-06T14:22:00.019-06:00

Monica of Hippo

(Augustine's Mother)

I wanted to go back a little further for this one and short of going to Acts or the Gospels I think this is as far back as it gets. You are welcome of course to make a comment and prove me wrong. I haven't read very much on early church history (my bad) but am willing to learn.

Okay, So why Monica of Hippo?

Well, to be honest this is meant to be a learning experience for myself. Don't get me wrong I love having lovely people like you along for the ride but I have always been very selfish with this blog and don't intend to change that now. I use it as a journal, a release, a place to "flesh out" ideas and principles for living, express the things that God is teaching me as I consider His works, words, and ways. So, I invite you to suck up what you can and leave the rest for me and my distractable self. Happy reading. I hope you learn something you didn't know about Monica or her more famous son.

I confess that the only thing I knew about Monica of Hippo is that her son was greatly influenced by her faithfulness to follow Christ and spoke of that in his writings. So here's some of what I've learned these past couple of days.

Monica was born in 332 AD just when it was becoming okay to be a Christian all over the Roman Empire. This was made more acceptable by the Edict of Milan announced by Emperor Constantine I in 313 AD which removed penalties for professing Christianity (under which many had been martyred in previous persecutions of Christians) and proclaimed religious toleration in the Roman Empire. Constantine's lengthy rule, conversion, and patronage of the Church redefined the status of Christianity in the empire. But you can read more about him later. I brought that up so you might understand a little about the environment she grew up in. Her parents were Christians and most likely knew other believers who were heavily persecuted and even martyred for the faith. There were probably stories shared among family friends around the dinner table about "So & So" who were burned or hunted by lions as prey. It very possibly could have been like the eye-witnesses to Foxe's Book of Martyrs coming round to dinner to discuss the writings of the apostles. Cool Right?

Okay, so it's not really clear where she was born but most sources agree that it was probably in the northern regions of Africa, based on the location of her marriage and some other stuff. She was born to Christian parents who were of Berber descent (pagan) so they most likely were converts themselves. When Monica was about twenty-two she was married to an older man named Patricius. Patricius was a city magistrate and was known as a generous man at times however he was not a believer and often gave himself over to violence and adultery. To make home-life even more challenging Monica's pagan mother-in-law lived with the newlyweds.

Instead of giving into sadness or bitterness, Monica took this as a faith-growing opportunity. She was proved in time to be "chaste and respectful" in her behavior. Eventually her "gentle and quiet spirit" won over the character of her verbally abusive mother-in-law and though she herself never made a profession of faith, she began to respect her new daughter-in-law. She is said to have counseled her peers in similar marital situations with the words "If you can master your tongue, not only do you run less risk of being beaten, but perhaps you may even, one day, make your husband better."

After nearly twenty years of marriage to an abusive and adulterous husband Monica saw fruit of her careful labors. Patricius became a Christian just a few months before his death in 371 AD. The rejoicing over this great victory of the Lord would be immeasurable to any loving wife. The only grief left for our lovely Monica was the waywardness of her seventeen-year-old son Augustine.

Although Monica strived, as with all three of her children, to compel her son to follow in the teachings of Christ. He had rejected the faith which she held so dear and chosen to place his hope in the philosophy of men and the highest education of the times. Which we know from Romans chapter 1 to be vanity. Among other worldly teachings Augustine at that time began to follow the teachings of Manichaeism (there are two forces, Light and Darkness, one good and one evil, both equal in power. You know, Star Wars Theology). After some years, Monica consulted with a church leader concerning her son and was given advice to continue in prayer for her son for "It is impossible that the son of so many tears should perish."

At the age of Thirty-two Augustine had become a popular professor in the city of Milan and yet continued to experience personal turmoil. His curiosity in the charismatic preaching style of Ambrose of Milan led him to sit under his teaching for some time. Slowly his mind began to change through an understanding of the Gospels but he "wanted to be as certain of these things as [he] was that seven plus three equals ten." The conversion of the heart was yet to come. After an emotional wrestling within his sin he opened a book containing the letters of Paul and read "Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts." (Romans 13:11-14)

Okay, I said I was distractable. I can't believe you let me get so far off track. Let's get back to Monica. So, shortly after the death of her husband, Monica went to live with her son in Milan, along with his mistress and their son, Adeodatus. Surely her constant example of faith was a source of conviction for her son and his family. About fifteen years after the death of her husband saw the change she longed for in her son. His conversion was indeed a process as He tried to reason it all out and finally yielded to the power of the Spirit. Can you imagine the joy of his mother, the quiet smiles as he read the gospels in the corner of the room, trying to grasp their meaning, the warmth of prayer for her son as he sat beside her during sermons she knew must lead him to the cross. Wow! Take comfort mothers of wayward children. God is at work, for He alone can accomplish what is needed.

Finally her beloved son, Augustine "received grace" and professed saving faith in the work of Christ on his behalf. (a little dance of rejoicing, maybe the running man) After a year of concerted study and prayer under the guise of Ambrose along-side his mother, son and close friends, Augustine was baptised as a believer on the eve of Resurrection Sunday 387 AD along with his son, Adeodatus.

About six months later, Monica prepared to follow her son and grandson back to her homeland in northern Africa (modern-day Algeria). While waiting in the port-city of Ostia she sat alone with her son discussing "what the eternal life of the saints could be like" when both were overwhelmed with peace and Monica turned to her son and said "My son, as to me, I no longer find any pleasure in this life. What more I have to do here, and why I am still here I do not know...Put this body anywhere. Do not let it disturb you." Within five days our dear Monica was ill with fever. On the 13th of November 387 AD Monica died of fever - malaria was common in the area at the time.

Augustine wrote of his mother's funeral. "It was not fitting that her funeral should be conducted with moaning and weeping, for such is normal when death is seen as only misery or as the complete end of existence. But she had not died in misery, and death was not her end...Of the one fact we were certain by reason of her character, of the other by our faith."

What can I (we) learn form Monica of Hippo?

I think that her value to us is found in her gentle and submissive way of leading those she loved to the truth. Both of her men (husband and son) looked to the world for something to fill their God-shaped hole and found nothing that fit. Yet when they observed this woman in her contentedness they saw that her hole was complete. Although, she couldn't have been silent in her faith because both men knew what filled that hole and must have heard it from her lips as well as felt it in her love for them. I'll quote a little James Taylor then the infinitely more authoritative Word of God.

"Shower the people you love with love" - JT

1 Peter 3

1In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Reformed Women of History 01

2008-03-05T09:41:00.021-06:00

Did you know that March is Women's History Month?

Yeah, I didn't either until I read it on someone elses blog. So, what is one to do with this information? I thought it would be a good opportunity to read up on some of the women of the faith and who better to begin with than the wife of Martin Luther? He's a little fresh on the mind because some friends shared a portion of the 2003 production entitled "Luther" with me this last weekend. So I read a bit about her online today and thought I'd share some of it with you, whoever "you" may be. ;>)

So here's the lo-down.

Katharina (Katherine) Luther was born to a family of nobles who lost their fortune over the years because let's face it old money is just old and life takes just as much old money to live on as the new stuff and well, it ran out. The name pasted on young Katie when she was born was Katharina von Bora. Her father (Hans) and mother (Anna) had other children but we don't really know how many. So here is little Katie with her siblings growing up in some ancient family house in Germany and when she is five, you know playing dress-up and learning through observation just what it takes to care for a house, her mother dies and everything changes, as would happen in any five year old girl's life. Soon after the event, her father remarried and sent little Katie off to school and just a few years later to a convent where she would learn the religious life which at that time was, for women, found in a convent because, shall I remind you, the Reformation hadn't occurred yet. So her aunt Magadalene ("Lena") was there to teach her what every little nun should know and there she was to take it all in and on October 8, 1515, at the age of sixteen, she took her vows as a nun. (A big commitment for a sixteen year old but hey, they all matured faster back then right,? No TV to suck up their intelligence.)

Okay so Katie the nun is reading, writing, learning some Latin when this whole Reformation thing is being strongly held not so very far away in Wittenberg, Germany under the leadership of none other than Martin Luther, himself. So, like a true woman she talks these things over with her friends in the convent and some of them decide that "Hey, we're trapped in this place under the unbiblical rule of some tax-collector in Rome and they'll kill us if we leave." So they penned a letter to Luther for help in their escape. The gracious and understanding ex-priest arranged for the ladies to escape in the covered fish cart of a merchant in his flock who regularly delivered his catch to the convent on the day before Easter, 1523. Eventually all the other Dames that escaped with Katie married and began family life with men from Luther's congregation but Katie's standards were high and after a few suitors she told a friend that she would only consider marriage to him (Nikolaus von Amsdorf) or their common friend, Dr. Luther himself. Well, we know how that turned out. Martin and Katie married on June 13, 1525 and held a public ceremony on the 27th of that same month.

Katie, then twenty-six, became a very busy woman. Luther always had students in their home and many of them stayed a while before moving on to other quarters. So you've got college guys in and out of the house, visitors to her famous husband, and eventually six children of their own. Busy woman! And what a household to manage! The son of the nobleman who protected Luther throughout his confrontive years with the Catholic Church, Frederick III, Elector of Saxony, had given "The Black Cloister", a former Augustinian monastery in Wittenberg, to the Luthers as a wedding gift. So when the flu happen to sweep the area, guess who's house served as hospital.

After twenty-one years of ministering along-side her husband, the famed Pastor and Professor of Wittenberg died and Katie was asked to move to more manageable quarters with the children who were still living at home. She refused at first but soon war drove many of the area's people to other lands. She returned home only to be driven away twice more because of war and plague. It was during this last fleeing that her cart was in a accident near the city gates of Torgau where she died on December 20, 1552, three months later from serious injuries related to the accident. She was laid to rest there at Saint Mary's Church, far from Wittenberg. But burial plots weren't on her mind when the time came to depart. She is reported to have said on her deathbed, "I will stick to Christ as a burr to cloth."

The four children of the Luthers who survived to adulthood became movers and shakers in the world as well. Hans became a court advisor, Martin Jr. studied theology, Paul (through whom the male Luther line continued until 1759) became a medical doctor, Margareta married a wealthy nobleman and their descendants can be traced to present day (including the 2nd president of Germany and Counts and Princes of Eulenburg)

Martin Luther was of course the more fore-front character in their family but it is said that Katie had wit and personality of her own. Really, can you imagine a soft-spoken, un-intelligent wife for Martin Luther who stood before men who by all conventional rights of the time could have killed him and said "Unless I shall be convinced by the testimonies of the Scriptures or by clear reason ... I neither can nor will make any retraction, since it is neither safe nor honourable to act against conscience."

We again don't know much about her character or marriage to Luther but there are hints of his affection among his letters to friends and his sermons. He fondly called her "my lord Katie" and stated in a letter "Catharina, my dear rib ... is, thanks to God..." We can know that she is the woman intended for a great man by and infinitely greater God. She was his match and equal in all things, just as God seen fit to provide.

A picture from the movie mentioned above but the ages would have been further than is represented here. She was twenty-six while Martin Luther was forty-two at the time.

"It's the process, not the product."

2008-03-03T11:37:00.015-06:00

Did you know that I like to draw?
The only thing better than starting a new drawing is finishing one. However I must admit that I have much more experience with the former rather than the latter. I could post pictures of all the little projects that I have begun but not even "blogger" has enough space to hold all that digital information. The other day I was going through a portfolio of mine from high school. The amount of unfinished projects was a little disturbing.

In thinking about how unfaithful I have been to these undertakings I was reminded that God is continually faithful. I posted this picture on my flickr page a couple of days ago with this title "His work was finished on the cross. Mine has just begun." It is just as He said "It is finished." Even when we are faithless He is faithful. Faithful to complete the work which He began in me, in my brethren, in those who don't know they're being worked on yet. He is Faithful.

The title of this post is something that those of us who work with children say a lot. "It's the process, not the product." You know I do believe that when it comes to macaroni art and learning to dress yourself. When it comes to the daily sanctifying work of God in His children I would like to alter it a little. "It's the process, because of the product."

Scripture says that "When we see [Jesus] we will be like Him." As we await that day we can take comfort in the fact that it is sure, not based on the deeds which we have done even in righteousness but according to His mercy. Because He is faithful and able to complete His work, we can take comfort in whatever it is He has prepared beforehand for us to do.

Can I use these points to get out of finishing those works in my portfolio that remain merely started? No, but I can put them aside for more precious and lasting work.

On to that which will last.

NL White

2008-02-20T12:56:00.002-06:00

I found this picture of a picture yesterday.

Thought some of you may enjoy it.

"He Who Never Quotes Will Never Be Quoted."

2008-02-15T10:37:00.004-06:00

"The cloke that I left at Troas with Carpus,
when thou comest, bring with thee,
and THE BOOKS,
but especially the parchments."
— 2 Timothy 4:13

"Paul had written the major part of the New Testament, and yet he wants books! The apostle says to Timothy and so he says to every preacher, "GIVE THYSELF UNTO READING." The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men's brains, proves that he has no brains of his own. Brethren, what is true of ministers is true of all our people. YOU need to read. Renounce as much as you will all light literature, but study as much as possible sound theological works, especially the Puritanic writers, and expositions of the Bible. We are quite persuaded that the best way for you to be spending your leisure, is to be either reading or praying. You may get much instruction from books which afterwards you may use as a true weapon in your Lord and Master's service. Paul cries, "Bring the books" — join in the cry. "

Sassy

2008-02-14T15:19:00.007-06:00

I was listening to bits of an album put out by one of my favorite lady singers and found myself thinking about some of her past songs that just make me laugh. I then realized that perhaps the characteristic I like most about her is that she is sassy. In fact if you were to look that word up in the dictionary it may very well have a footnote containing her name. I suppose it would have to be just the right dictionary though. Or it may even enclude a picture of this Southern Belle. Perhaps this picture.

P.S. One of today's best guitarists plays on all of the songs and produced the album. Thanks to my brotha' for the insight.

Hunger For the Word

2008-02-01T12:15:00.000-06:00

The Bible is the bestselling book of all time.

More than fifty copies are sold every minute.

It's also the most shoplifted book in the world.

Picture above is one of the fifty every minute.

Thou shalt not steal.

Ironic

2008-01-29T12:55:00.000-06:00

Does anyone else find it ironic that the church universal is referred to as the Body of Christ while that is the very thing that was nailed to the cross on our behalf.

Is it no wonder than that we should sacrifice our self, our selfishness, our boasting and pride in response to His taking our sin through the punishment it deserved on the cross.

Ironic isn't really the word, then.

Who's Your Look-Alike??

2008-01-22T09:14:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure about that last one but the first seems pretty close.

But in the end none of them are close enough for people to mistake me on the street.

I'm not sure what to say about this one.

Make Your Own

Maybe Wynonna Judd isn't in their database.

Sepia Sense

2008-01-22T08:41:00.000-06:00

I went even more upload crazy yesterday. I have this frame which at one time had a mirror or something in it but now it's just the frame and a backing. My project is to fill it with pictures, cool pictures, pictures of friends and family, kids I care for, really just stuff that makes me happy. I want most of the pictures to blend together, look like they should be there. So... I turned a lot of pictures sepia this weekend to accomplish some sense of continuity among them. So it's all part of a project, not just crazy uploading.

So... visit if you like.

If not... then don't.

Have a great day!!

Switch - A - Roo

2008-01-21T11:47:00.000-06:00

Switched the colors around a bit today.

The picture at the top is composed of two cameraphone pictures I took while visiting the San Francisco Bay. I went with one of my favorite boys (his are the smaller feet) to the beach at the Presidio while his mom was teaching an engineering class. We then picked up lunch on one of the peirs.

A Good Day.

2008-01-18T14:38:00.000-06:00

I went upload crazy on my flickr page today.

Have a look,

or not.

Lots of memories there.

Cruisin' - Crazy-Like

2008-01-17T13:49:00.000-06:00

Perhaps I don't know enough about scientology but this seems like a waste of tape to me.

What exactly is he saying?

Is this man serious?

Is he seriously demented?

Again, maybe I'm not "informed" enough to get it.

Does the Thought Count?

2008-01-15T10:12:00.000-06:00

I was thinking this morning that a great act of love for someone to show me would be to scrape the frost from my windscreen some morning, preferebly one that requires my going to work. Then I thought I should do that for someone else. There is a van which is usually parked near my car that belongs to a single mom. I thought that would be a good one to start with.

I thought that...Is that enough?

Maybe tomorrow.

An Enemy Within

2008-01-11T09:06:00.000-06:00

I think that I have explained the title of this blog before. I think that the first two posts told about the meaning of the Greek word "helos." The word simply means "nail" for those of you who have not read those posts. I am revisiting this topic because of an addition that has been made over the past few months, that is the phrase "changed daily" which is seen within the blades of grass at the top of this page.

In considering these two things together I was also contemplating what it was that held the perfect Sacrifice on the cross. It is said that it was not the nails but rather His willingness, His love and mercy that did so. I understand that to be the case, knowing that apart from His will to participate in the perfect plan of redemption laid forth before the foundation of the world, the Son of God could not be crucified. That is why the Lamb of God is now seated on the throne. He deserves it first for who He is and because of who He is, He has done that which only God/Man could do, give His life as a ransom for many.

The reason that I named this blog "helos" is so that I would not forget who Jesus is and His work on my behalf. The site is http://www.whenisurvey.blogspot.com/ to remind me that all is to be considered in light of God's grace and mercy shown to me upon the cross. Apart from Him life and all that it intails is vainity and should I try to keep this thing going apart from Him it will be that as well. I sometimes post "mindless raging rants" and just stuff that is going on. I pray that even these would not be done in vain but to show that I am still human and am living in the world, seeking to not be of the world.

I don't think that I can express just what God has done for me, what He has relieved me from in taking the shame and punishment for my sin. Partly because I don't have the words to express it and even more so because I don't fully understand just what has been done. I have been given a gift of eternal life in communion with God. Although I know and have experianced many benefits of this gift there is so much more that I have been promised and am sure of because I know that God is faithful to keep His promises.

I also have difficulty in knowing just what I have been saved from. I know what it is to recieve earthly consequinces for sin and I know what it is to wrestle with temptation from the outside and from within however I cannot empathize with complete divorce from God, His general grace and provision which I have always had as a creation of His. I cannot imagine the depths of Hell.

Salvation seems such a simple word but its complexities I know I will not understand upon earth. This truth, however does not excuse me from the study and meditation of His great and awesome work on behalf of those who would call out for the blood of Christ to wash away their sin and bring them into fellowship with God.

I was recently challenged by the Spirit to share something from my past with a dear friend. We were in the midst of a rather intense discussion concerning sins that were brought to mind during a sermon we had sat under that morning when a particular sin was made the forefront of our conversation. I stated that it was indeed sin and sighted scriptures which show it to be such. There was then a great pause in the conversed and contraversial topic as we watched the kids play in the hall of science we were visiting that afternoon. There wasn't much said between us for the next half hour as we made our way through the building and into an outside display which overlooked the bay. As we observed the scene and the children made their way back to the hands on learning of the displays the need to share my heart was too much and I told a secret that still remains such today.

I wanted my friend to know, as I pray all will, that I'm not a sin-o-phobic Bible thumper who blindly makes statements concerning the eternal effects of sin. I expressed to her that this sin we were previously speaking of was indeed a sin that I have wrestled with. God alone has victory over it in my case, this I know because when I am weak in my fellowship with Him it's ugly head resurfaces to show that it is not my efforts which keep it at bay but His own. After the kids were put to bed and sudoku was in progress I was asked to share more about my salvation from the effects of this sin in which I was blessed to say that the depression and internal anguish that it brought has been washed away. The grace of God cannot be measured just as God Himself cannot be measured.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) "He gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed and to purify for Himself a people for His own posession, zealous for good deeds." (Titus 2:11)

We try to place degrees on individual sins so that we can say "It was just a little lie." or "I only did it once." We want to rationalize with human standards so that we don't have to face the reality of how much God hates sin but it doesn't line up with Scripture. Our measures and standards are just that "ours" and we cannot expect God, whose "ways are not our ways," to follow our rule.

I'm not sure what all of this is to say except that God is more than we can imagine in every part. He is more just, more gracious. He is more loving, more wrathful. He is more faithful, more forgiving than any one you've ever met because He is God. God is more by definition. He is perfect by definition. He is the Rule and the Ruler.

Storm Damage

2008-01-08T14:37:00.000-06:00

So the flight home wasn't so uneventful. The first leg of the flight consisted of my waiting to see if I could even get on the plane because I had an unassigned seat on an over-sold flight to Dallas...Fun Stuff. But the guy at the gate was extremely patient and some people took direct flights to Austin, where they were going any way, so it wasn't too bad. but the final part of the flight was a scene straight out of "Twilight Zone" the movie, minus the creepy gremlin and the crazy passenger. The pilot flew through the beginnings of the storm which caused this damage at the home I work in. I've seen trees twisted and mangled like this before, in Lousiana, after Hurricane Katrina, when we went to help clean up the damage.

I took some pictures of the lightining in the clouds from the plane window but they'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Glad to be home in my bed, but miss the family I visited as always.

Stoked

2008-01-05T22:47:00.000-06:00

Perhaps there are some of you who do not know what the word stoked refers to. It basically means that I am very, very, very happy and very, very, very excited about the situation right now. You may be asking why, but if you are not, brace your self because I'm going to tell you any way.

Tonight I am here in the home of my California hosts with one of my favorite 4yr olds. Mom and sister stepped out to enjoy a hockey game and that leaves the boy and myself to just be. And that is exactly what I love to do with the people I love, just be. So I am stoked. It doesn't take much. Popcorn and a movie; Board game and peanuts; Innocent tangents on youtube; Dinner and a little conversation. I'm easy to please.

Freak of Design

2008-01-05T10:45:00.000-06:00

Taking a general look at me you may never guess that I am indeed a freak. My freakiness would not constitute my own spot in the circus or anything. It's really not that noticable to the casual eye yet it is indeed unusual among many that I am associated with. This physical oddity usually isn't too troubling and I don't pa much attention to it most of the time. The instances in whichit has had the most impact it has had the most impression upon daily or casual life are 1. buying a car 2. riding in a kiddy coaster with a child who may require adult participation according to height guidelines 3. Buying a car 4. Riding economy class on an airplane. 5. Purchasing clothing.

You may have already guessed that I have long legs. I know that there are people with longer legs and that this is not so freaky as I make it sound but #5 on this list reveals another aspect that is odd. My torso is quite short. I have a friend who is a half foot shorter than me and yet when we sit side by side she is the same height. My torso's short, her's is long. I have another friend that I am about an inch taller than, we have similar body types and yet her torso is indeed longer than my own.

In short I am a long legged, long armed (fuel for another post) FREAK.

Uneventful

2008-01-04T09:58:00.000-06:00

The trip was good, no missed flights or sneeky gate changes. The first flight had only 22 passangers so it was very laid back and we could just about sit where ever as long as someone wasn't actually in it. Unfortunately it was only the 45min leg of the journey. The second flight was completely full, over sold in fact and there were actually people with tickets who didn't get to take that particular flight. The family I'm visiting, their doing well and yes it is supposed to rain every day that I'm here. So, we'll be spending lots of time in museums, go to a movie or two and hang about the house. That's much more relaxing to me than theme parks so I'm happy but the kids will need entertaining today so I'd better get going. More posts about long legs on airplanes and morning devotions to follow.

Goin' On Holiday?

2008-01-02T14:09:00.000-06:00

Yep!

I'm sure there will be tons of pictures and some stories to share.

Shooting the Family

2008-01-02T13:36:00.000-06:00

My cousin asked me to take some family photos for her so that she could give them out for Christmas. Some of them turned out pretty decent. I think it was the adorable subjects. Here's some samples. You can click on them to get a better view.

Here are some with my charges. I am, after all, a nanny with a camera. Again with the adorable subjects.

Coffee Creations

2007-12-22T18:35:00.000-06:00

Today I had coffee with a cousin and an aunt at a local dive. Kennedy Coffee, owned by a family member of a dear friend (hey Pasha). For the last few months they've had some modern-esc art on the walls both for display and for purchase. I was not personally impressed by the pieces. It wasn't my "thing." But today they had some art work more suiting to my eye.
It's basically watercolour with espresso as the medium. It's mostly some java takes on some classics. So take something I like, classic art work, and repaint it with something I like to drink, coffee. I'm liking this. So visit the painter's website and give a grin in response to the clever coffee creations. Then if you're in the area head to Kennedy Coffee and purchase a painting with your "Velvet Elvis" or "House Mocha."

Happy Holidays!!
NL White

A Constant Battle

2007-12-21T10:45:00.001-06:00

He finally got a moment alone with the present and couldn't resist the early experiance of Christmas Magic.

Click on the Picture to see it bigger and get a better view of the culprit in the background.

Nanny

2007-12-21T10:41:00.000-06:00

Check out these photos. They are truly strange.

Sharing the Wealth

2007-12-15T15:32:00.000-06:00

A fellow blogger has posted a painting of hers that I love. When you click on the link and view the painting:
1. get over the nudity, it's art....David has been nude for hundreds of years but we usually only see his head in our sanitized society.
2. Take a good look at the brushstrokes. They show a motion almost like breathing. It's stunning!

Let It Snow

2007-12-15T15:19:00.000-06:00

We finally have snow here in NW Arkansas. It has been flirting with us for some time now but here it is and not a moment too soon. It's been a while since we've had a good snow before Christmas. Maybe this one will linger on the lawns.

I was walking through the local promanade with a couple of friends when I took a moment to cross my eyes (something I like to do from time to time) and saw that a snowflake had decided to linger on my nose. I immediately thought of the song which says "snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes." Does anyone else think it funny that that song has amazingly become associated with Christmas over the years? I suppose it's the reference to snowflakes and "brown paper packages tied up with string." I think I might use that this year in honor of an unlikely Christmas song.

Happy Holidays...Happy Holidays

Where Has My "A" Gone?

2007-11-30T13:35:00.000-06:00

I've been doing some things on a laptop of late and for some reason I can't type. It's as if I have been visited by a tall Haitian with the superpower to erase sections of one's memory.

Playing the "Sorry!" Card

2007-11-28T12:24:00.000-06:00

Praise God for the sense of conscience He has given mankind! Praise Him that there are still sins that seem "gross" even by the world's standards! Even though we are wrapped up in our own sin, the "worst" among us still have some piece of ungodliness that they would rather be strung up than be caught partaking in. Perhaps more Christians have these than we would like to admit.

The truth of the matter is, should we all be forced to wear a patch or brightly coloured letter to represent our sins, first we would never have to worry about the appearance of our clothing because we would be covered completely with those markings along with the sashes upon sashes to bear the remainder of them. Second , should we be able to see those symbols we would loose sight of the figure beneath them and the person they are. For the Christian who they are because these sins have been forgiven and for those who remain entangled, who they could be when the love of God removes the taint they leave.

I was speaking to a sister-in-Christ the other evening about a particular sin in which a family member is involved and she called that sin "gross." I thought to myself "Yes, but why?" Why is this sin more "gross" than mine or yours? It's not. Scripture bears no evidence that any one particular sin is worse than another. There are references to the unforgivable rejecting of the Holy Spirit however no measure by which we may gauge individual sins.

God hates sin. That is the measure we are given. There are lists of sins that God hates and lists of people defined by sin who will not inherit the kingdom of God but are these things hated more by God than other sins that didn't make those particular lists. No. God hates sin.

The challenge then is to hate sin just as much as God does. Beginning first with the sin that is within myself and then with that which is evident in the brethren and lastly that which is in the world closest to me. God showed us how to do this through the Law. The quote "Be killing sin or it will be killing you" rings very true in this. But it's hard. I like my sin some days and therefore it is very difficult to take the two-edged sword to its pulsing neck and cut off its evil head. I want to talk it out of taking action and maybe give it a day or two to change its ways, become a better and less offensive sin. But God hates sin in every form and so should I.

Come to think of it the first part of the challenge could be considered the hardest. Because it is dealing with my own sins, the ones that I cling too, those in which I have a vested interest. It's like getting your player knocked off the board with a "Sorry!" card. It hurts. It's much easier to hurt someone else because you don't love them as much. (no matter what you may say or feel) You don't have the same vested interest in their sins. So it's easier to take their game pieces away.

However the reason it's the hardest is because we are not God. God has this ability that no one does, not even Superman or Wolverine. God hates sin perfectly, but not only that, He loves the sinner perfectly too. He knows that the defeat of sin within them is the best effect of His love that can be provided.

So there is a new challenge which is just as difficult, to love the the sinner just as much as God does. This is easy when we are the sinner in question. We don't need help loving ourselves. We need help loving those "gross" sinners and even those "not-so-gross" sinners. The great thing in our need is that God who provides the grace and love that we need is faithful to meet that need in others as well. And even to do so through us who are called to exercise love and grace in His name. Wow, no pressure.

So, to wrap up this little sermon to myself I shall say...

Never forget the love of Christ to you so that you may show the sove of Christ to all others. You have been forgiven much therefore forgive much.

Jesus, Lover of My Soul

Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, ’til life’s storm is past;
Safe into the haven guide; receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, I helpless, hang on Thee;
Leave, oh leave me not alone, support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head, in the shadow of Thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, are all I want, here more than all I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; for all eternity

Charles Wesley

The First In An Endless Step Program

2007-11-12T12:08:00.000-06:00

I think that I've mentioned before how I am a great hypocrite but I just wanted to further the point today.

This last week I was very suddenly asked to quote a little book of the Bible that the Lord has graciously allowed me to memorize and miraculously retain for a few years now. Along with the reciting of this book I was asked to do some teaching regarding the importance of God's Word and sing a few scripture songs to or with them. After a little exaggerated thought on the proposition I accepted the invitation and began on a very busy Saturday to prepare for about 20 minutes of teaching children the following morning.

So between an accountability meeting with my lovely and gracious mentor, a family-wide birthday dinner, a tea party and a concert I quoted the book once and for the rest of the day tried to steal moments to consider what else I might have to contribute to these young minds and lives. Those moments however were sucked up with angst over family matters, seeing well-missed faces at both the family and tea gatherings and trying to overcome my social spazz-tizity for a concert setting. I don't think it must be said that I failed in the preparation department. So upon returning home from the concert I spent about an hour talking to myself and my Lord, going through what I wanted to convey to the kids and praying for direction from the very Author of the scriptures I was invited to lift up before this children.

In the end God proved Himself much more faithful to meet the needs of those children than myself. Which, of course, is always the case. I ended up teaching for about 25 minutes and found that the Lord was quick to provide what needed to be said at just the right time. It was an amazing experience to ask the kids questions and then realize not only did I know the answer to the question but more importantly I knew a verse and its reference that the answer was based upon. I could show them exactly how we know that "Jesus Rocks!!"(1 Peter 2) "The Bible Rocks" (2 Timothy 3:16) and we as God's children are meant to Rock (Ephesians 2:10).

I was truly blown away at the things that were coming from my mouth and knew that God alone could be the reason for the sharpness of mind. But I was also convicted because I know that I don't live like Jesus and the Bible Rocks every time I have that opportunity. Therefore I am a hypocrite. Look it up. You'll find that it means someone who says one thing and then lives quite differently when all is boiled down. However there is hope for this hypocrite because like an addict the first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem. God is good and gracious in all things and He will prove Himself as such time and time again. But as time goes on I pray that my being a hypocrite will be less and less proven.

Unsolicited Illegal Surprises

2007-11-06T15:45:00.001-06:00

I think that perhaps I have found the most wonderful thing that the internet has to offer. Okay, probably not but I'm pretty impressed. Although I'm not sure what I am most impressed about. Let me explain.

I was looking for a trailer for a movie produced in 2002 based on a book I just finished and of course I went to YouTube to find this. I was met with a most pleasant surprise. I could in fact watch the entire film on this site, and therefore I did. It did however have French subtitles but I was not distracted. The roles were played with a touch of excellence and the story line followed the book very well until the last hour. (I have come to grips with this after trying very hard to divorce it from the original author's work in light of the actual ending requiring more time & money than this TV production could possibly allow.)

So my impression, I suppose, is two fold. I found much more than I could have hoped for and second that someone took the time to upload this three hour production on to YouTube. I know that this must be highly illegal and am sure that someone should be prosecuted, but I for one am a little grateful because the DVD version of this production is not available in accordance with my "region." (A downside to my recent and personal British invasion) Therefore my viewing this film was a small miracle.

Coming Along

2007-10-31T11:00:00.001-05:00

Okay so I'm working on this story which as of yet is titled "Over A Cup Of Tea." I have been pretty consistent at writing a page or so at a time and haven't experienced major writer's block. However, I do have a dilemma which I didn't really expect. I continue to ask the question "How much of myself do I reveal?"

I am, as many can see from my writings here, a Christian and for me that means that I strive to put Christ first in every situation. I am therefore torn in the happenings with the characters of my composition. I am, also admitted in my writings here, a hypocrite. This means that I am also torn with the happenings and how much of my sinful conscience to reveal.

In short this SHORT story is quite a challenge.

If you have an opinion let me know.
(This is the interaction piece of the presentation.)

Speechless

2007-10-26T14:17:00.000-05:00

I don't have anything special to post today...so...I thought I'd quote someone else. I recently read this on someone elses blog and thought of myself as I do too often. Thanks Aurora for putting this so aptly.

"It’s not that I never wanted to be feminine. Okay yes it is. But something is happening. My resistance is wearing down. Maybe it has something to do with getting hips for the FIRST TIME EVER at the age of 25. Maybe it’s a hormonal surge that happens just before 30. A hormonal surge that comes with some kind of tractor beam locked on to girly hair, mascara and great accessories. "

Pet Peeve #1

2007-10-25T15:54:00.000-05:00

You know there's this thing that really bugs me, I mean really bugs me. It's those sporty little shorts and joggers that have words printed across the rear. It's as if young girls, and even younger girls are saying hey take a long look at my booty. How decent is that? Well, it's not.

Confession #1: I have a pair of shorts with a design on the rear. I was unaware of this when purchasing them and have since only used them as sleepwear. However, I can't even bring myself to walk around my little apartment with the design exposed so I've taken to wearing them inside out.

Confession #2: I am wearing them today...still inside out & under some jeans that have seemed to grow over the last few months. I'm wearing them and guess what...I'm still a little cold when I go outside. It's like winter just exploded here in Arkansas and it's not trying to be polite about it either.

So the point is...I'm cold.

The Daily Grind

2007-10-24T14:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, so what am I doing today?

#1 Dealing with the effects of yesterday's grape and raisin breakfast combo.

#2 Tickling a very cute 18 month old into submission and tiredness for his noon-ish snooze.

#3 Making Italian Stuffed Meatloaf during said snooze. (kudos to the Food Network - now I too can cook like my lovely and most dear friend on earth)
The Mom of the family I work for is out of the country so I thought I'd put something together for Daddy and one of the boys. (the other's a pretty picky eater, more on that another day.)

#4 Starting a SHORT story.
Now some of you know that I've been working on a "story." Well, that story is quickly becoming a novela. I don't know...maybe I'm afraid of commitment...but I've set it aside for the time being. I want to prove to myself that I am capable of writing a SHORT story. You know, one that you could read before bed...over...say...two nights instead of three weeks. So that is the big project challenge for this week and maybe next. I'll keep you posted. (ha...ha...get it? "posted")

#5 Blogging
This little exercise has proven a bit difficult as the connection here at work is a little stingy at times and therefore limits productivity in this area. I have made a slight commitment to post a little more often and as a result am very driven to finish this post.

#6 Preparing to be a Youth Leader this evening.
This one is quite tricky as well. It's not that I'm nervous or anything. I've been on the youth staff for something like nine years this coming January. It's just that I don't feel very in tune with God today and KNOW that I will mess up if I rely on myself for what needs to be provided to the kids tonight. I fall short and am pretty sure that they know it too but I don't want to disappoint. So today I'm relying on the faithfulness of God. Faithfulness to me and faithfulness to those kids. I am going take a few moments to read the Scripture that will be taught tonight and pray for strength to strive to be reliable and ready for whatever those teens throw my way and pray that He meets their needs regardless of my "self" and my flesh.

#6 Going to Bed
This will not come too soon as I rose early this morning, yes before the sun, and have a full day ahead of me. I also have to rise before the sun tomorrow. (So, I'd better go finish that meatloaf.)

Happy Day!
- NL White ;>}

The Zombie and the Swordsman

2007-10-23T08:43:00.000-05:00

I gave my youngest charge (I'm a nanny for two lovely boys) a bowl filled with both grapes and raisins this morning. (A little imbalanced perhaps but he enjoyed it and I'll try to provide things to get him back on track as the day progresses.) As I looked at the bowl of fruit I was taken by the mixture of the old and new.

The raisins all dried, wrinkled and gummy in texture and the grapes in all their juicy-ness with their smooth skin that gives a slight pop when you bite it and their slightly grainy middles that give freely between the top and bottom incisors. (Can you tell which I prefer?) The display of my discription talents, however is not the point of this post. (Even though you are now taking a moment to deeply swallow the drool I've induced or to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. That's gross...don't do that!)

I was taken by the picture of the two foods together because it is very often what the inside of my heart looks like. The old and new trying to coexist in the most peaceable of circumstances. The old self hanging out, putting it's two cents in wherever it thinks the new might not notice while the former tries to suppress the other with it's knowledge and wisdom. But this is not the reality of it. These two are constantly at war within me.

The pale zombie that I've termed "the old" walking around trying with insatiable desire to pierce flesh and chew away at "the new" with it's double rows of pointed teeth. (Don't leave. I promise I'll tone down the horror text.) It seems a little bit crazy and very disturbing for me to describe it like that, I know. But how else would you discribe that which is meant to be dead trying to take over where the living are seeking to thrive? Thank God that His sword is able to chop off that bald decaying head. (That's the last of the horror. I promise. I think I watched too many of these kinds of movies growing up.)

It was also intiguing to me that my young friend (the little boy I mentioned at the beginning...you shouldn't lose focus so quickly ;} ) chose to eat the wrinkly old raisins with more fervor than the juicy, delectable and de-li-ght-ful grapes. This however is also a picture of my heart because I am prone to wander, as it were, back to the former way of life and therefore forsake the only good within me. The Spirit of the Living God is left at the bottom of the bowl much too often when I walk away from the table.

I have made the effort and taken the time to dig out, admire and ravenously eat of the old self. Thinking that it's pleasures must be better as that is it's empty promise. All pleasure is lost however when the texture is realized in my mouth. I can see that all the satisfying elements have been sucked out and the remains have induced the impulse to spit the dried flesh out, perhaps even vomit and then cleanse my palett with the only thing that can rid me of it's effects. Grace alone through Faith alone in Christ alone.

My only hope and comfort in this is that my Saviour lives and has been glorified. He is the first fruits and the picture of God's reservation for those who confess with their mouth and believe in their heart that the Christ, Jesus Himself, has risen from the dead. I'm still working on all the details but it is my desire that this describe every aspect of my life. Even the mixed bowl of fruit (and yes, nuts) that I call my heart.

Good Day to All

- NL White

Some verses to ponder:

James 1:13-18

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

1 Peter 2:1-12

1 Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if indeed you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.

4 And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by men, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For this is contained in Scripture: "BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A CHOICE STONE, A PRECIOUS CORNER stone, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."

7 This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for those who disbelieve, "THE STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE VERY CORNER stone," and, "A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE"; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed.

9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY.

11 Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.

Comparitive Morality

2007-10-15T17:24:00.000-05:00

Of Which I Am Guilty

I came into the book and media store rather late on Saturday night. I had ordered a movie, "Vera Drake," about a London abortionist during the 1950s. I heard that it was one of Imelda Staunton's best performances on film. I loved her portrail of Dolores Umbridge in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheniox" and she is well accomplished as an actress in Britain both on the stage and the set. In this production she plays a "good woman" with "a heart of gold" trying to "help out young girls what find themselves in the family way". The movie was well done as far as these US eyes can see and the performances outstanding.

There is however the issue of abortion or in this case aided miscarriages. Romans 1 talks about the world making its own standards apart from God in order to build its more attainable measure of morality. It is evident in this movie. When being questioned by the police about the use of particular tools that are more recognised as that of an abortionist, Mrs. Drake replied "Oh, I'd never do that." And although there were those opposed to the aided miscarrages, they didn't have any good reasons. Simply that "It's wrong ain't it?"

Praise God for even the limited conscience. For this world which we visit on our way to glory would be much more difficult to bare. Perhaps that's what we need? The Lord is faithful to provide all that we need. It seems that this might be the very thing to wake the sleepers who call themselves the church. Let us step away from what the world expects start comparing ourselves to God's standards.

Perhaps in the future I will post on the issue of my watching these movies in the first place but until then consider these verses.

Romans 1:18-25

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

Luke 17:26-30

"And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. It was the same as happened in the days of Lot: they were eating, they were drinking, they were buying, they were selling, they were planting, they were building; but on the day that Lot went out from Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. It will be just the same on the day that the Son of Man is revealed. "

Ephesians 5:1-16
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says,

"Awake, O sleeper,

And arise from the dead,

And Christ will shine on you."

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

Still a Mystery

2007-10-05T12:16:00.000-05:00

This past couple of weeks I have been exposed to the "Knights of Columbus" title a few times and from a couple of different sources. One being an acquaintance considering becoming a part of the group and the other a Brother in Christ concerned for his brother entering into such a secret society. I must admit that I know little to nothing about this Catholic brotherhood founded by Father Michael J. McGivney and that my knowledge of them is limited because I haven't taken the time to research the group. However if my trusted and diligent friend is having trouble obtaining information about the group there must be something hidden from the public eye. It could very well be that this "do good" fraternity of Catholic men has nothing serious to hide and just likes being a mystery to others. Or it could be that they have plans to take over the world by the year 2027. I truly don't know.

My friend did, however, make an excellent point concerning secret societies under the name of church and Christianity. He said those things done in God's name while under a shroud of secrecy has to be questioned. (or something similar) I have to admit that I agree. We have been sent out as believers to tell of God's works and wonders, therefore, how can those doing His work justify having a group that you must be a part of in order to learn the inter-workings of it?

I too find the mystery a bit intriguing however not enough to run the search engine in pursuit of the answers. So I'll leave that to the ones who have a vested interest in it and pray for those convicted by their conscience to do what is right in God's sight.

Tuesday, September 11th, Again

2007-09-11T09:42:00.001-05:00

Worn... but not home yet.

I was challenged this morning with an inevitable question from a three year old. The question was "Why is that man putting up another flag?" I gave him the short answer of this being a day do remember what happened and another Tuesday six years ago. That people died and we want to remember them. He asked subsequent questions like "How did they die?" and "why did the bad guys want to crash the planes?". And you would think that after six years I could answer those questions without emotion but I didn’t and salty water filled my eyes.

The blessing in all of this was that I was not saddened by the number of people who died that day but at the thought of the souls in those buildings who were lost in sin and taken by another's sin. I know that because God is sovereign all was and is not without purpose. It is my prayer that we who know Him will be ready to share with those still distraught by circumstances in tis life, that He is good and therefore causes all things for good. We may never see or understand the good of the events which devastated so many in the U.S. on September 11, 2001, while we walk in this world. We can however have comfort and trust in the One who does.

Blessings on this eventful day,

Nanci Lea

2007-09-01T15:10:00.000-05:00

Okay... enough delay.

I'm very much home and very much behind on personal up-keep.

I'll blog more when a little less overwhelmed with the day to day stuff.

Chasing the Son and Slaying Monsters

2007-08-14T22:46:00.000-05:00

Chasing the Son

The plane ride out to the west coast was quite the journey. I was indeed chasing the sun and I think that I would have come much closer to catching it if I hadn't missed the flight from Dallas/Fort Worth, TX to San Jose, CA. However there was only a short wait as a standby for the very next flight headed that way.

As a standby I thought it important to be at the gate as the passengers were being loaded on the plane. There were a total of 13 people on the standby list an I was number 5. The other standbys I waited with were numbers 1, 6, & 7. Mr. 1 was a gentleman with the US Army on his way to classes for his continuing college education. Mr. 6 & Ms. 7 were a young couple who had just finished vacation in the northeast corner of our country. Mr. 1 was soon called upon to fill the first vacant seat available due to a cancelation, while the remaining three of us waited patiently for our names to be called.

As the plane was being loaded the maintenance crew had time to address a few issues with the aircraft but there remained work to be accomplished even after the boarding had finished. As we, the remaining standbys, anticipated the completion along with the final boarding call there seemed a light for at least one of us perhaps even two. The helpful attendants made us aware of this glimmer at which my companions stated that they wouldn't be split up for this second to last leg of their journey home. My gut reaction to this was that should there be two seats left on the plane Mr. 6 & Ms. 7 could have my seat that they may remain together. I spoke this gut reaction to the very helpful attendant.

I know people in the area of Ft. Worth that would be glad to minister to my need of lodging should the occasion arise and therefore was not afraid of the wait that I may have to endure for as much as a day. Furthermore the people expecting my arrival in CA were not on a tight schedule for the next couple of days so their retrieving me an hour or two later would not be a huge inconvience. Therefore I offered my seat in complete confidence that my needs would be met because of the graciousness of God to provide such a relaxed situatuion on my behalf.

After relaying the offer of my seat, I was given a bit of a spiritual start because of the response of Ms. 7. Even though it was meant as a compliment when she said "that would ge such good karma if you did that" my heart jumped back at the thought of doing something for karma's sake. Many of us act in such a way that we may gain some type of reward even if it's just a smile or a tiny pat on the back. Without realizing it we are drawn to this simple and yet powerful motivation to good deeds. The first words that entered my thoughts were "I don't believe in karma." Although my first gut reaction was happily relayed this one I held back, out of fear, pride or simple stupididity. I'm not sure but I regret not having said anything about trusting in the road of karma to get me anywhere being like chasing the sun.

The outcome: The two seats togther were taken by the couple who reserved them to begin with. Mr. 6 & Ms. 7 boarded a flight directly home to Portland which was where they intended to end up after one more connecting flight. The one seat remaining was never claimed by the intended party therefore I sat in her place and arrived in San Jose only an hour later than origianlly planned.

Later I tried to examine the situation and my heart. I asked myself if I truly do not believe in karma. My flesh is very attracted to the idea. Seeking the scratching of one back for that of another equally giving person in order to gain a little scratch for myself. Even to have someone feel as if they are in debted to me in some way. But I cringe at the thought that this might be what drives my actions.

When I yeilded to Christ in the beginning of this walk, prayerfully by His side, this was an issue that I knew was lacking in my life. I was driven by the approval of friends and family to do what seemed right in their eyes. When confronted with the reality that I was indeed acting on a daily basis out of fear of mere creatures I was broken to think that I was not even conscience of the Creator the only One who could rightly judge both actions and motives.

On that night I set aside the approval of men. I have lost friends as a result just as anyone striving to keep God's standards. I have denied some fleshly desires to keep His commands but so what. If I bow to the approval of creatures today and that bowing puts the Creator at my back than it is a loss for His glory and I count all He has given, done, and sacrificed to secure my life in His Son as vainity. So instead of chasing the lesser glory of mankind I pray that my desire would be made complete in the ever challenging pursuit, in Chasing the Son.

There will be regrets because I am still flesh surrounded by sin and its effects but the light is brighter where I am headed and that blackness left in sin's wake cannot survive there. It will be burned to ash and brushed away by His mighty hand.

Slaying Monsters

On a lighter note: Today was spent around the house with a little outing consisting of Toys-R-Us and IN-N-OUT Burger where you can purchase a t-shirt at the drive-thru window. Great time with the kids and a couple of items crossed off of the request list. In the evening hours we attended a birthday party which the youngest of my hosts was invited to join at the famed establishment of Chuck E. Cheese where my 7 year old companion and I were challenged with the slying of dinosaurs tring to take over our island. We were not sucessful but hopefully their numbers will be limited to that remote spot in the sea.

Just Hanging Out

2007-08-13T23:42:00.000-05:00

Well the Service yesterday was great and I was blessed with excellent conversation with some of those I met last year as well as new found brothers and sisters in Christ. I was asked to share my personal testimony of responding to the gospel and was blessed to hear that of others as well. Fellowship within the body of Christ is an amazing thing. It transcends background, situation and station of life to bring the most unlikely of brethren together.

A side note: I met two flickr fellows after services. It truly is a small world.

Yesterday evening the more extended family gathered for a dinner celebrating a 18th wedding anniversary. (My thanks to GJ) At Piatti's, an Italian eatery here in Danville, I enjoyed a plate of "Ravioli Al Lemone." Ravioli stuffed with spinach and cheese and covered with a creamy citrus sauce. I loved it. The sad thing about all this wonderful food I've been surrounded with is that my stomach isn't quite up to the task of finishing any of it. So...after sharing a bite or two with some of my lovely dinner companions and completing what I felt was a adequate portin for my self, there remained two well stuffed ravioli. What was I to do? There wasn't quite enough to save for later and too much to be left on the plate. I will end the suspense...I ate them.

Today, I hung out with the older of the two children while the younger enjoyed birthday festivities with his classmates. We then had an hearty lunch at a local dinner(patty melt for me). We came back to the house and played a little Wii. The children and I then went to see "Underdog" which was quite entertaining and family friendly.

All Things Relative (weather and time zone)

2007-08-12T11:56:00.000-05:00

Well, things are going great here. I haven't seen the kids just yet but will in a couple of hours. This is Dad's weekend so they've been a little tied up with Grandma in town and a b-day party for the youngest. So when I came into the airport my very joyful ride was perfectly on time to move on to bigger and better things and in this case that was Food. Mexican food to be exact. We headed to a favorite eateryof my hostess'.

"El Torito"

While inside I was asked to recount the happenings of my life for the last ten to eight months which made me thankful that there has been many changes to produce conversation and also to give God glory for. I in turn asked Cristine to do the same. It was a great opportunity to get to an insight into what the week may hold and what to pray for while here and in days to follow. The conversation was so good that I nearly forgot that we were in California and that it was only about 72 degrees outside. When I opened the door to exit the establishment I was quickly reminded. The brisk air, high mountians and palm trees outside in San Jose were excellent reminders.

It seems this morning that life for others is taking a little long to get started, I suppose that is because I woke around 5am pacific time and finished an hour's walk and preparations for the day by 7:30. Well my ride for church will be here shortly so I will leave all this for now and post more later.

Perhaps you have not heard that my mother is going in for tests on her heart tomorrow. Please pray for her and for wisdom for the doctors. In one of these tests they will attempt to cause a heart attack in order to see just what is going on. Again, please pray for comfort in our sovereign God for those awaiting the results, for wisdom and guidance for the doctors, and God's will for my mom.

Blessings,

Here!

2007-08-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

Have Arrived! Only one mistake on my part and had to take a different flight as a standby. All my fault.

More to come and pics as well.

"Leavin' On A Jet Plane" (again)

2007-08-10T16:03:00.000-05:00

Well tomorrow is flight day for me. The amazing internet has allowed me to check-in a day early and an hour and a half away from the airport. It's crazy what we can do these days. Well there are bags to finish packing and calls to make so that will be enough for today. There will be pictures and paragraphs to follow.

Packing Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be!!

2007-08-08T14:38:00.000-05:00

Okay, this Saturday I'll be boarding a seven hour flight accross this great land of the free. Free that is unless you want to bring shampoo and toothpaste.

I understand all the security and even the limits on liquids but I'm only going for a week and guess what...everything I want to take fits in one carry-on size bag. However, I will have to check that bag and leave it up to the Power that is to keep it from getting lost in transit. Alas, I do not know the complete will of God regarding my luggage. Therefore I will not be able to bring one bag on my journey. There will be a second, unchecked bag, a bag that will be by my side throughout the flying process. This bag will contain a few books, paper, pens, verse memory card, peanuts, a sandwich, water (purchased at the airport), purell, an mp3 player, headphones, a handheld sudoku game, some gum, a small blankie, a reese's treat and alas a change of clothes.

I'm not suggesting that anyone make exceptions for little-ol-me. I just want to put one week of my life in a single bag. (and a camera case)

A Little Update on the Condition of My Soul

2007-07-31T09:07:00.001-05:00

All Is Well

The Lord has been gracious to meet me in the depths of selfishness that often overtake my flesh. He met me there in the beginning when my soul was given life according to His plan and purpose brought about by the sacrificial work of Christ Jesus on my behalf and was sealed by His Spirit for His Glory alone.

He has brought me closer to "looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of glory of our great God and Saviour Christ Jesus, Who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed and to purify for Himself a people for His own posession zealous for good deeds." (Titus 2:13-14)

The process of Purity is a long one and there are many bumps on the way, most times they are more like boils that ooze goo from the flesh continously. The Great Physician however is greatly skilled and faithful to His workings . Thanks for your prayers and encouragements.

It Is Well with My Soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

“It is well, it is well with my soul”

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blessed assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross,and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord haste the day when the faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound,and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

Public Domain

Text: Horatio Spafford

2007-07-20T11:42:00.000-05:00

Alright: Confession Time

I'm a dweeb when it comes to the things of God. I'm inconsistant and sometimes faithless in my Bible reading. I don't always want to be closer to Him today than I was yesterday. And I am not very compassionate toward God's people.

There is good news however!!!!

God Doesn't Change!!

Even though I feel like more of a wretch than the first time I knew I needed a Saviour, even though I continue to sin in what seems like a greater measure than before, and even though I'm stupid when it comes to truly denying myself daily.

God Doesn't Change!!

Here's a comforting quote that I read and was blessed to discuss with some fellow Christians yesterday.

"What peace it brings to the Christian’s heart to realize that our Heavenly Father never differs from Himself. Incoming to Him at any time we need not wonder whether we shall find Him in a receptive mood. He is always receptive to misery and need, as well as to love and faith. He does not keep office hours nor set aside periods when He will see no one. Neither does He change His mind about anything. Today, this moment, He feels toward His creatures, toward babies, toward the sick, the fallen, the sinful, exactly as He did when He sent His onlybegotten Son into the world to die for mankind.

God never changes moods or cools off in His affections or loses enthusiasm. His attitude toward sin is now the same as it was when He drove out the sinful man from the eastward garden, and His attitude toward the sinner the same as when He stretched forth His hands and cried, 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.'"

From:
The Knowledge of the Holy
A.W. Tozer (18971963)
The Immutability of God (Lesson 09)

So What??

Does this mean my dweebness is okay and that God understands my stupidity?

No, don't be daft!! May it never be!!

Sure God understands because He knows all things but that doesn't mean that I can wallow in this idiotic lack of motivation. Just because God doesn't change doesn't mean that it's okay for me to run around in the same set of clothes for the rest of my life. God says "Be holy, for I am holy." I am so not holy!! So what is the remedy?

Tozer goes on to say:
"In all our efforts to find God, to please Him, to commune with Him, we should remember that all change must be on our part. “I am the Lord, I change not.” We have but to meet His clearly stated terms, bring our lives into accord with His revealed will, and His infinite power will become instantly operative toward us in the manner set forth through the gospel in the Scriptures of truth."

Say What?

It is my very unholiness that requires change that only God - the unchanging one - can provide the measure for. And He has given us that measure in the Bible. So... I have to get out of this funk which very often leads me to depression and read the Word of God. I have to make concerted application of it to my life. - What a challenge!! But God is faithful to give me just what I need to do all of this.

He has provided a Church that teaches the Scriptures and seeks to help its people apply it to their daily lives. Through this Church and its leadership He has set forth a reading plan that is encouraged among the people so that say someone reading this that is also reading along can say "Hey, are you keeping up?" or " What did you think of this verse or passage?" And hey there may be someone reading this that hs gone through similar stuff that can post a comment of encouragement.

The point is that He has blessed us with the ability to change so that we can grow. We grow physically sure, but He alone insures our growing spiritually.

Lacking Decernment??

2007-07-15T23:21:00.000-05:00

A Constant Companion

2007-07-12T15:13:00.000-05:00

Our Youth Group is begining to memorize

2 Timothy

Dear Friend

2007-07-11T09:18:00.001-05:00

I have a lovely friend who knows just how to make me laugh and cry.

Thanks Laura

and thanks to Ed for the pics

Great Wall In Arkansas

2007-07-10T10:46:00.000-05:00

I took some pictures last week with my little 4 mega pix camera.

No, I didn't travel to Ireland. The pictures are of the wall placed around a housing developement. The building is going slow, however it makes for better pictures when you're not trying to dodge people's rooftops, swing sets and swimming pools. I did end up with some powerlines and street signs.

2007-07-07T22:37:00.000-05:00

NEW TOY

I have a new toy.

An early Birthday present, let's call it.

Still Breathing

2007-07-04T16:12:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days that amounts to nothing except the air you've breathed...that's today.

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.
Psalm 150:6

Happy... For Now

2007-07-03T11:49:00.000-05:00

Well I think that this is it for a few days at least.

The pic up top is of my youngest charge's hands crawling through the yard and the pic of "me eye" at right has been modified and re-modified.
Happy Viewing...

Cool Mosaic Site

2007-07-03T08:10:00.000-05:00

Bring a picture here for a cool effect

2007-07-02T18:32:00.000-05:00

Just a few changes...until I figure out how to make major ones.

Equal Dreamers

2007-06-15T07:47:00.000-05:00

Last night our Study group was talking about the dangers of pride in abilities and accomplishments verses the purity of pleasure in God's gifts and workings through His people. In talking about taking the risk of getting close to the fine line in between them I said something about football teams and their lineing up on the line of scrimage. It wasn't well put but I think the idea got put across.

We have to use the gifts and have achievements to be pleased in God's workings. And others acknowledging them gives us the opportuity spread the good news of our glorious Lord's salvation and continually working in our lives.

As one who prefers to dream in the night and hide behind the dreams of others in the day, I have been challenged to press on with eyes wide open like only a Believer in the Lord Jesus Christ can.

"All men dream: but not equally.

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible."

- T.E. Lawrence

Family Ties

2007-06-14T14:16:00.000-05:00

My Mom

Her Children

Her Grandchilren

2007-06-12T11:04:00.000-05:00

What are you proud of?

from a jewish periodical

Synergy In Advertizing

2007-06-12T10:28:00.000-05:00

On my home page I received this comic as well as a link to ABC's story on this LEGO Master Builder and a free shipping offer from KB Toys on LEGO products..."Synergy People...Synergy."